Saturday, October 17, 2009

Change of Season

(To the masses who read my blog - all 5 of you ;)- I am attempting, yet again, to write more. I don't know what that will look like yet. All I know is I really miss posting. I really enjoy writing and letting friends & family who don't live near us, especially, have a look into our lives and hearts. So here ya go...)

Fall is here! It seems like just when I am ready for a change in the weather & scenery, it's time for a new season. Although, I admit, Seattle summers are a bit harder to let go of than the summers I was accustomed to in the south! Yet, I am enjoying the briskness in the air, the rainy days (for now anyway - ask me again a month from now!), the warmth of candles and comfort food, and - one of my favorites - the amazing colors. Nature's palette is rich with reds, oranges, and yellows that seem to pop against the background of evergreens. So beautiful!

I don't know what it is about fall, but without fail it brings along with it doses of nostalgia. Just the feel in the air takes me back to high school football games, times with old friends, college all-nighters, youth lock-ins and retreats from our student ministry days... So, I've been reflecting back over different seasons in my life as I feel I'm entering a new season in many ways. Although I love nature's change of season, I tend to buck against personal changes of season. Even the "good" changes bring some level of discomfort at first. I'm such a creature of habit! I'm the mom that sheds a few tears every time I have to box up my babies' outgrown clothes! But, just as I appreciate fall anew each year because I've just gone through 3 months of summer, I'm learning that a change in my personal season allows me to appreciate all of life so much more. If the trees never lost their leaves, we would never experience the joy of seeing the fresh green of spring.

So, what is changing for me personally? Several things.

1) I just turned 35. I've never really been bothered by my age as I've gotten older and still am not bothered much. But 35 sounds older to me than any other age has ever sounded. Of course, I'm older than I've ever been, but do you know what I mean? I'm now in a new age bracket. And my new past time is plucking out gray hairs. They've suddenly multiplied! Scary.

2) Dale and I just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Yeah us! :) But, wow, 10 years! How did that happen? I think of all we've crammed into the past 10 years and I'm amazed I don't have more gray hairs! Let's see... we moved 7 times and have lived in 4 different states; have gone through deaths of loved ones; had 2 kids; I've had 6 different jobs, not counting my current job as Mommy; and we are currently starting a new church. Talk about changes! Yet, we've happily made it to a milestone year and the horizon speaks of a new season of us.

3) Connect Church. We just officially launched last month and what an exciting time it is to see the beginning of something placed on our hearts almost 3 years ago. Yet, this is completely new. I am continually stretched in new ways. I don't know what to expect, except that change is inevitable as we grow.

4) Acceptance. I might expound on this more later. But, in short, I am entering a season of accepting where I am and who I am a little more than before. Not that I have it down. But my tendency to buck change is calming a bit. I am coming into a place of contentment that has nothing to do with my circumstances or with myself. It has everything to do with Jesus Christ. Why? Because as I reflect on the different seasons of my life, He is my constant. He is the same yesterday, today & forever, has faithfully walked with me and has promised to continue to do so. He has been abundantly good to me, whether I've liked the season I've been in or not. He is my comfort when the season is sad. He is my strength when the season is wearisome. He is my companion when the season is lonely. He is my firm foundation when the season is calm. He is my delight when the season is happy. And He gives joy and peace uncomprehendable through them all.

So, on the doorstep of a new season I can walk into the unknown accompanied by a little more trust and confidence than I've ever had before. I accept what I have been given, as well as what I have not, because He's just that good. A lot is changing for me, and that is a good thing. It's kind of like spring. I wouldn't think this new season nearly as wonderful if I hadn't lost some leaves along the way.


Anonymous said...

You have such a way with words! And I so needed to hear that right now. I am right there with you on #1, well add 5 more years (shhh). It's been hard to say it and I think b/c of what you said, it SOUNDS old, I don't feel it and I can't believe I'm that age. And #4 I thought you know that's me lately and I think in my "season" I'm learning more "as I get older" to finally just let go and let God! I'm not trying to help Him run my life as much. Oh yeah there's still times and I'm still learning, hey I have 3 kids and one's now a youth, so yes I think I need to help Him along the way! But it's the seasons in life and I love fall too and what it makes me think about. And you are so right about what you said.

And there are way more than 5 that read your blog! Glad you're back to writing!

Heath and Nikki said...

I'm with you too! I forgot how much we have in common. 35...10 years od marriage and now 2 kids! Amazing! So excited about your church. I enjoy getting your newsletters. Praying for you guys! Glad your back :)